The most important thing is to recognise that the “jump” from reading and hearing about a GroupCoaching to actually sitting in the circle “cannot be described, only experienced”. Nevertheless, it is always useful to know the rules and to be mentally prepared before entering the “room”. Every session begins with a round around the circle. One by one, participants briefly share the most important experiences or reflections they remember since the last meeting.
Nobody interrupts. Nobody asks questions. The only task is to listen. With ten participants, this opening round can easily last thirty minutes.
After listening carefully to everyone, the group leader identifies important themes or situations that may deserve deeper attention. One participant is then offered focus time — an hour of concentrated attention from the entire group and access to the collective experience and insight in the room. If the participant accepts, they move to a chair directly opposite the group leader. The participant is then given about ten minutes to present their situation while the rest of the group listens intensely.
“Forgiveness”, drawn by the Norwegian graphic artist Ragnar Hauge (b. 1947), is one of the strongest illustrations I know of what can be played out in “The Hot Chair”. The drawing hangs in my office in Cascais. Ragnar Hauge’s drawing attempts to capture the moment Birkeland describes below — “the instant someone sees themselves through the eyes of others.”
After the presentation, the roles shift. Now the case owner must remain silent and listen while the group responds. This part is often called “The Hot Chair.” Why? Because the person in focus usually feels a strong urge to explain, defend, or correct what others say — but must simply listen. Participants may say things like:
“I noticed that you covered your mouth several times while speaking.” “I got the feeling that you were holding something back.” “I got a fantasy that there might be something you are afraid to say.”
The purpose is not criticism. The purpose is awareness. When everyone has spoken, the group leader asks the participant: “Was there anything you heard that touched you or stayed with you?” Very often, strong emotional reactions emerge. Sometimes the participant discovers patterns they had never seen before. Sometimes they simply feel deeply understood for the first time. Because it is the gap between what you thought you showed — and what others actually saw — that makes the Hot Chair uncomfortable. And transformative, like the graphic motive of the Norwegian artist Ragnar Hauge. If the participant wishes to continue exploring the issue, the group leader decides how the group can support the next phase of the process.
“The Hot Chair” — a participant’s reflection
“I have participated in many of JP’s groups over the years, and I have also used the process in my own management team, as HR Director at U&P / Norsk Hydro. After forty years with SGL, I believe this is what makes the method unique. You learn to know yourself while walking together with others who are searching for the same thing. SGL is not something you simply read about. It is a process you must experience — and complete — even when it becomes uncomfortable. The exercises JP brought from his background as a priest and therapist are essential. One of the strongest exercises is what we called ‘the confession.’ You dare to unfold your self-image in front of a group that seeks the same honesty. You begin to see yourself through the eyes of others. The key to making this safe is the discipline of active listening and careful language. People say: ‘I get a fantasy from what you say,’ instead of making hard accusations. Over time, something loosens. Slowly but surely, courage grows. People dare to show their true face and accept the positive power of honest feedback.”
— Knut Birkeland
