Secret 5,2 · Communication / Focus — Bullying and Alienation

Bullying and Alienation

Bullying, alienation and exclusion are closer to your own everyday life than you think. And burning out happens gradually and silently, until it suddenly becomes too much.

Professional
Head language · The burn-out barometer — five steps on the path from motivation to exhaustion.

The burn-out barometer — the five steps from growth through stability, stagnation and frustration to apathy — The burn-out barometer. Five steps on the path from motivation to exhaustion.

Can you describe the power techniques that exist at your job?

Bullying

Often innocent, but still hurtful:

You laugh at your colleague’s dialect or language.
You talk down to your colleague to others.
You interrupt when he is speaking.

Alienation

Often deliberately — or racist:

You overlook your colleague as much as possible.
You include your colleague as little as possible.
You never praise his work.

Exclusion

As a colleague, you consciously oppose:

Your colleague’s invitations to meetings.
Your colleague’s visibility in the work environment.
Your colleague’s possible salary increases or promotions.

From my book “One year with Ellen, about bullying, creativity and the third eye”.

Facing what is obvious

There’s a common truth: to give, you must also receive. No one can keep giving without also getting energy and support in return. This is especially true in jobs that rely heavily on human relationships.

Studies show that these kinds of jobs are in a risk zone for what seems like a strange illness — where the symptoms are tiredness, lack of motivation, forgetfulness, poor focus, and low energy over time. We are seeing more and more signs of “Burn Out” — especially in Western societies. Burn Out has become a growing problem. Research on AIDS has even shown a clear link between stress and a weakened immune system. Similar research in sports medicine and workplace health also shows how stress affects performance and increases the risk of physical and mental illness. So it is not surprising that we are seeing rising rates of exhaustion, sick leave, and mental health struggles in many companies.

A patient lying still inside the ring of a scanner, arms at their sides, the machine and the room around them empty of anyone else — The research above is done on bodies. This is where a workplace problem ends up being read.

Burn Out often happens gradually and silently — until it suddenly becomes too much, just like the illustration. Sometimes a picture tells more than our words.

Figure: intro film

Intro film coming — the place for this secret’s recording is reserved here.

Read slowly: step by step

Read while thinking about yourself or a colleague. Where the text says something about feelings now, you stop. This is the situation. Ask yourself: what can be done now? Secret 14 — Acceptance carries that question further.

1 · Growth

I’m excited and optimistic about starting a new and meaningful job. Even though the job is demanding, I feel energised by it and stay in a good mood. I feel strongly connected to my team and the organisation. Working overtime is no problem. The work is meaningful and fun.

2 · Stability

I feel confident and capable. I feel valued, and that I have a positive impact. I ignore negative signals from others who think I’m “too eager”. I start to notice I’m sleeping less, but I think that’s normal. I still enjoy the work, but I notice it takes more effort to stay energised.

3 · Stagnation

I sacrifice family time to keep up with work tasks. My motivation is dropping. I still try to do well, but it takes more effort. I’m often affected by the mood of others, especially if they’re negative or passive. I start using energy to keep up appearances — to hide how I really feel. I feel stuck, but unsure how to make a change.

4 · Frustration

I feel like nobody really listens. Home Office has changed the communication to become mostly technical. Small talks no longer exist. I question whether I’m in the right place — if I made the wrong career choice. I no longer feel part of the social group at work. I feel alone or disconnected. I lose motivation and hope for the future. I feel physically and emotionally exhausted.

5 · Apathy

I often feel numb or disconnected. I keep working, but I’m just going through the motions. I no longer care if I “win” or “lose”. Even important changes feel meaningless. I no longer feel joy in helping others. I avoid taking responsibility. I might lash out or show bitterness — blaming others or the system. My sleep is poor, my thoughts are heavy, and I feel worst in the evenings.

Which stage best describes you right now? This saves to your report, and nowhere else.

Choose the stage above that best describes you right now.

SGL-Communications
Secrets 1–5

SGL-Relations
Secrets 6–10

SGL-Values
Secrets 11–15

SGL-
Communications

SGL-
Relations

SGL-
Values

SGL-
Tools

Bullying and Alienation

Can you describe the power techniques that exist at your job?

Take responsibility

Facing what is obvious

Read slowly: step by step